Kitschies & Krakens 2012

The Kitschies, presented by The Kraken Rum, reward the year’s most progressive, intelligent and entertaining works that contain elements of the speculative or fantastic.

The Kitschies

Well, who wouldn’t want to design a poster for that, right? Especially as it means I get to draw tentacles. Heh. Kraken Rum have just lovely graphics for their tasty tipple. Really nice stuff. But rather than simply copy their illustrations I wanted a tiny monster all of my own.

And – when it’s for the only awards ceremony where you actually win a tentacle – I feel you should clearly make an effort!

inkiesmarkIIIlow rez Kitschies & Krakens 2012

More about tentacle-y goings on with The Kitschies right here!

Forbidden Planet Small Press Expo

Or Fun With Fonts. An Adventure With Steampunk Posters.

This is the copy that lands in my Forbidden Planet inbox. Ping!

On Saturday 30th June, at the Forbidden Planet London Megastore, we will be hosting an event with a difference – welcoming a host of authors and editors from four small press publishers into a mini convention in our very own store!

From Newcon Press, from Jurassic London, from Myrmidon Books and Snowbooks, we’ve gathered a swathe of talent – from some of the most respected names in the industry, to the latest award winners and nominees, to the very hottest of hot new titles… we’re throwing open our books department to celebrate the love of genre which brings us all together. Come down on the day to mix and chat with the authors in one of our trademark ‘open plan’ events!

We’re also celebrating the launch of Newcon Press’s fabulous ‘Hauntings’ anthology featuring a truly chilling fusion of the best writers around!

So come and join all of us – Nina Allan, Christopher Priest, Adrian Tchaikovsky, Pat Cadigan, Sophia McDougall, Lavie Tidhar, Rod Rees, Gareth L Powell, Una McCormack, Ian Whates, Jonathan Green, Rebecca Levene, Paul Kane, Marie O’Regan, Andy West, Mark West, Rebecca J Payne, Theresa Derwin, Ben Baldwin, Adele Wearing, Esther Saxey, David Thomas Moore, Glen Mehn, Thomas Emson, Alan Baker, Danny Acacio and Sarah Anne Langton – and we promise to make it a day to remember!

Forbidden Planet

Highly amusing as I’m actually supposed to be signing the Jurassic London title at the event – which I’m not too sure in any way increases it’s inherent desirability – but interesting as the words ‘poster’, ‘window display’, ‘Sarah design a poster’ and ‘Steampunk’ are being used. Okay. Cool.

I love Victorian-ish posters where font selection showed zero restrait and ornamentation ran wild. If there’s a space stick a swirl in it. Apply drop shadow at will. The design involved breaks every notion of any ‘font rules’ they tried to drum into you at Art College but for some unaccountable reason the Victorian results always seem to look stunning. The wood block looking nature of the printing process gives them a very ‘small press’ feel. Ideal. And I’m sure a little Heath Robinson guy was winding a giant printing press handle to produce these. Well, I’d like to think so anyway…

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So armed with a bit of reference it’s time to go hunt down some fonts. The ever handy dafont has a lovely free selection. Just head off into the ‘decorative’ section that designers normally shun. There’s twirly type a plenty. The Vectorian also has a nice big free font list and some cool vintage vector ornament. And I hit typeface gold at Cthulhu Lives with a wonderfully generous selection of H.P. Lovecraft typefaces for all your tentacally needs. So lots of playing with Photoshop’s custom shape tool later and with more multiple drop shadow than I think is actually legal these days… a poster appears…

Small Pres Expo Forbidden Planet Small Press Expo

Lunartik & Chums: Art Pass Series 4

Lovely Little Art Passes With A Small Dash Of Fizzy Pop Vampire.

art pass series 4 Lunartik & Chums: Art Pass Series 4

Matt JOnes’s Art Pass wallets are back in business with another collective of amazing artistic talent. Art Pass Series 4 artists included: Chu, Dave the Chimp, deadlemming, KozyNDan, Lunartik, Mr. Scruff, Niels de Jong, Sixxa, Sarah Anne Langton & Den Patrick, Suckadelic and a Special Edition Pass by Triclops Studios.

Art Passes are designed to be a ‘pop out and go’ style folded wallets for business, travel, credit cards, or even money. Each retails for £2.99 and will be available from each individual artist’s web stores or directly or from Lunartik’s web shop.

Lunartik Limited

And I’m totally lovin’ this as straight from his little ebook Mr Fizz gets to be a chum. Cool. Very sweet to see a design I’d drawn now on something other than a computer screen. Amazing to see a design I’d drawn actually with a practical application. Hugs All round.

If you’d a like a fat Fizz to help keep your cards safe you can pop one in your basket at Forbidden Planet or visit Mr Lunartik’s wonderful online store. And there’s more about The Fizzy Pop Vampire right here – should you wish to investigate further into his lemonade stealing doings – courtesy of creator Mr Den Patrick.

The Fizzy Pop Vampire Little Art Pass Lunartik & Chums: Art Pass Series 4

The Fizzy Pop Vampire

A Heart Warming Tale Of Vampires. Lemonade. Wiggly Words & Wobbly Drawings.

Once upon a day at work a conversation with Den Patrick went something thus….

I can illustrate your book.
You’ve never illustrated anything like it?
Nope.
And you don’t have the slightest clue what it is or how it works?
Nope.
Okay, good enough for me!

And so I acquired partial ownership of a fat vampire that steals lemonade. Cool. Given the large degree of trust just involved there I thought I’d better try and do something pretty damned spandy with the crayons.

Visualizing stuff from other people’s heads? Weird. People tend to have no preconceived idea of how their ideas should look until you’ve actually draw something. At this point they then inform you that it should be blue. The red you’ve chosen is entirely wrong. You are a spaz. So it’s always a bit nerve wracking drawing somebody else’s creation. But Den is patience personified to work with. And easily distracted by Iron Man if all else fails.

This is what the little guy originally started off looking like. I love the early 1960s work of Friz ‘Pink Panther’ Freleng. Which this borrows an awful lot from. It didn’t quiet work though. Too many folk with a copy of Illustrator can churn this stuff out. And I wanted something that looked as idiosyncratic as Mr Patrick’s fiendishly wonderful words.


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Okaaaaaay. Back to pen and paper basics then. What would a vampire thingee that steals lemonade look like? Turns out, in my head, a kinda big, fat, sinister bat. A little Bauhaus. A little post Rudy Rucker visualization of time and dimensions. A little Yuko ‘Hello Kitty’ Shimizu and I’m good with the design. Thankfully Den was too. Major relief. No illustators were slapped during the making of this book.

I steal lemonade The Fizzy Pop Vampire

So numerous cups of tea, much Moderat and many hours of marker pen fumes later and we have a book. Hard when you’re working full-time but, yeah, life sucks. Well, what do you do with it then? Seemingly spend hours of your life, that you’ll never get back, having publishers and agents tell you “they just love the book but not in the current climate/ it’s wonderful – maybe later in the year/ lovely concept but can we put you on a ‘possibles’ list?”. So never being somebody to let having no idea what I’m doing stop me I think the words ‘ebook’.

I then find out if you start saying the words ‘full colour picture book’ and ‘digital publishing’ in the same sentence to people they start muttering things like ‘difficult’ at you. Unlike a text based novel, picture books are a tricky beasty and require something called ‘fixed format publishing’. Well, unless you’re happy with the book looking like some vague aproxcimation of your original designs. I can’t even find anybody in the UK who’ll work with me on this so Mr Fizzy Pop Vampire goes to the US of A. A deal is struck with Publish Green. I’ll burn the photoshop midnight oil redesigning the entire book for the iPad/Phone. Publish Green will get it working as an ebook for Apple. Den will be superbly patient. Again.

Weeks pass but then an actual ebook arrives. Look at that! Exciting! I’m entranced that I can turn the pages on the iPad. Well, I’m easily pleased. But it’s pretty neat to see three coffee stained pages of Den’s copy, that were stuck to the front of my Mac for nearly a year, now appear as a shiny little digital publication.

One of the very few things that stuck in my head from art college was reading that Paul Klee said “Drawing is taking a line for a walk”. I love that. It always comes to mind when I’m wondering how to illustrate something. And hopefully, with Mr Fizz, I at least managed to take a small vampire for an wandering stroll.

Fizzy Pop Vampire cover The Fizzy Pop Vampire

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Soooooo… Mr F P Vampire now safely has a little home at the Apple iBook Store. If you’d like one of your very own go take a look!

Yes, please. I would like to buy a small vampire for my i-thingees…
The Fizzy Pop Vampire – Den Patrick & Sarah Anne Langton
Thank you.

More of those peculiar words and further geeky doing from Den Patrick right here!

The Fizzy Pop Vampire

Vampires, lemonade, wiggly words and wobbly drawings. The Fizzy Pop Vampire!

Fizzy Pop Vampire Cover The Fizzy Pop Vampire

This fully illustrated children’s book takes a quirky look at what a tiny vampire might get up to in your kitchen. Maybe he’s stealing lemonade? The Fizzy Pop Vampire can’t be trusted one little bit! But a badly behaved vampire can be greedy. Stolen fizzy drinks and lazy dental hygiene just don’t mix.

A cautionary tale on the dangers of having a sweet tooth with twenty pages of full colour wobbly drawings and wonderful rhyme. A visual feast ideal for very small people. Adults who don’t want to grow up. And anybody who loves stuff with a peculiar twist.

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Lemonade thieving Mr Fizz is available for your iPad/iPhone at the Apple iBook Store.

Yes, please. I would like to buy a small vampire for my i-thingees…
The Fizzy Pop Vampire – Den Patrick & Sarah Anne Langton
Thank you.

There’s a more about how he sneaked into the world straight from the peculiar mind of author Den Patrick justy here. And some of my blatherings all about illustrating him right here!

Zombie Attack Shoe Tips #2

Yes, remember ladies… the zombie apocalypse could strike at any time!

Accessories are always important. And never more so than in combat situations. Make sure you don’t get caught short in the survival fashion stakes with only a pair of flip-flops to hand. Killer heels are always a must. (Colour optional.)
zombie attack shoe tips 2 Zombie Attack Shoe Tips #2

Made for the handy fount of all zombie survival skill knowledge and top armageddon
tips: ‘A Girls’ Guide To Surviving The Apocalypse‘.

Books Vs Cigarettes Webcomic

books vs cigarettes title Books Vs Cigarettes Webcomic
‘Books vs Cigarettes’ takes a not entirely serious little wander through the world of Genre Lit. It’s the stuff we love but, as with everything, that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t come with a sense of humour!

Wondrous words from Danie Ware. Dubious illustration Sarah Anne Langton. And hosted each month by the lovely folk at Geek Syndicate.

flower1 Books Vs Cigarettes Webcomic
Books vs Cigarettes #1 The Perils Of Paranormal Romance Beware smouldering vampires and frisky werewolf’s… nothing good will come of it…
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Books vs Cigarettes #2 Post Paranormal Romance Blues When a little light Sword and Sorcery goes tragically wrong…
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little flower Books Vs Cigarettes Webcomic
Books vs Cigarettes #3 Steampunked The lure of the dirigible and corset goes horribly wrong as somebody starts to investigate the world of Steampunk.
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Books vs Cigarettes #4 SFX Or Bust! Be prepared… the SFX Weekender is upon us…
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big flower Books Vs Cigarettes Webcomic

Yuletide Pandemonium

Want a little Pandemonium in your Christmas stocking? Sure you do. As a seasonal follow-up to the very lovely armageddon anthology ‘Pandemonium: Stories of the Apocylpse’ you can now treat yourself to three darkly comedic tales with this dinky download from Team Pornokitsch.

Three unclassifiable short-short stories from three of our favourite unclassifiable authors. Den Patrick contributes “The Shock of the New”, a stirring tale of an alternate WWI (bonus: Tesla cannons!), Archie Black is a fly on the wall at “Villainy Fair”, a gathering of storybook villainnesses and Oz Vance introduces a deeply mediocre band of adventurers in “The Season”

pandemonium stocking stuffer 2011 Yuletide Pandemonium

Plus… uhm…. you get a wobbly drawing of the ‘Jurassic Publishing’ dinosaur, all of your very own, as I got busy with the crayons.

Go nuts and grab yourself a Kindle copy of the ’Pandemonium Stocking Stuffer 2011′ on Amazon UK or Amazon US! Full of awesome from top editor folk Anne C Perry and Jared Shurin.

Zombie Attack Shoe Tips

zombies shoe tips Zombie Attack Shoe Tips
Yes, remember ladies… the zombie apocalypse could strike at any time!

Make sure your undead escape shoes are always to hand and don’t let those nasty zombies ruin your heels.

Made for the handy fount of all zombie survival skill knowledge and top armageddon
tips: ‘A Girls’ Guide To Surviving The Apocalypse‘.