Accessories are always important. And never more so than in combat situations. Make sure you don’t get caught short in the survival fashion stakes with only a pair of flip-flops to hand. Killer heels are always a must. (Colour optional.)

Made for the handy fount of all zombie survival skill knowledge and top armageddon
tips: ‘A Girls’ Guide To Surviving The Apocalypse‘.

After piteously moaning about this utter lack of creative discipline a friend offered to loan me their library membership. Well, that’s very sweet. Okay. So slightly discouraged by thoughts of ‘Children’s Book Day’, clusters of cold dodging old folks, crazy people talking to the large print books and other previous library encounters I set off to Westminster. To The London Library.

I then find out why my slight reticence to venture here caused several smiles of amusement.

Set in a gorgeous Georgina town house The London Library turns out to be a fairytale establishment straight out of your favourite fantasy fiction. A deceptively narrow little door on St Jame’s Square leads into a labyrinthine warren of floors. Delightfully confusing. Books shelved up to the ceilings. Crackly old leather armchairs. Oil painting from centuries ago. There’s even a quirky Edwardian cataloguing system. Books filed by subject matter, so random finds of interesting reading matter abound. The place itself is initially so fascinating there’s no chance of getting any actual writing done. But a least I now have a better class of distraction.

This is a place where you imagined Arthur Conan Doyle wrote. Agatha Christie plotted fiendish crimes. Henry James thought about ghosts and governesses whilst Charles Darwin contemplated evolution. And turns out they did.

The London Library was founded in 1841 by Thomas Carlyle. His founding vision was for an institution which would allow subscribers to enjoy the riches of a national library in their own homes.

Carlyle was joined in his vision by eminent early supporters: The Earl of Clarendon, the enlightened early-Victorian politician, was the Library’s first president, Thackeray its first auditor; Gladstone and Sir Edward Bunbury were on the first committee and early members included Charles Dickens and George Eliot.

Over the past 170 years, The London Library’s collection has grown to more than one million volumes covering 2,000 subjects. It has enjoyed the patronage of many eminent writers, academics, politicians and readers throughout its history and has long played a central role in the intellectual life of the nation.

The London Library.

Sadly admission costs here but beg, borrow or steal membership if the opportunity ever arises. Or there’s a free tour on Monday evenings. Just a look round the building alone is worth your time before even getting started into the books shelves.

Oh, and if you’re feeling flush avid readers can adopt their favourite book to make sure it always gets looked after with the care and attention it deserves. Bless.

Eventually, despite a fascinating book find about hidden London tube stations and a guide to Victorian underwear, some writing did get underway. Hey, two thousand words without the aid of Jaffa Cakes. And convinced I may well be sitting in Charles Dickens old chair I didn’t immediately start shoe shopping online. I had a nasty feeling he might be watching.

Have your man locate a copy for you directly.

Three unclassifiable short-short stories from three of our favourite unclassifiable authors. Den Patrick contributes “The Shock of the New”, a stirring tale of an alternate WWI (bonus: Tesla cannons!), Archie Black is a fly on the wall at “Villainy Fair”, a gathering of storybook villainnesses and Oz Vance introduces a deeply mediocre band of adventurers in “The Season”

Plus… uhm…. you get a wobbly drawing of the ‘Jurassic Publishing’ dinosaur, all of your very own, as I got busy with the crayons.

Go nuts and grab yourself a Kindle copy of the ’Pandemonium Stocking Stuffer 2011′ on Amazon UK or Amazon US! Full of awesome from top editor folk Anne C Perry and Jared Shurin.

Make sure your undead escape shoes are always to hand and don’t let those nasty zombies ruin your heels.

Made for the handy fount of all zombie survival skill knowledge and top armageddon
tips: ‘A Girls’ Guide To Surviving The Apocalypse‘.

Now a collectors item ‘Zombie Attack Barbie’ played a salient role in ensuring the survival of countless young girls who grew up ready and willing to slaughter the zombie menace. This much loved toy still holds fond memories for so many of the lovely ladies from our Zombie Clearance Squads today.

Made for the handy fount of all zombie survival skill knowledge and top armageddon
tips: ‘A Girls’ Guide To Surviving The Apocalypse‘.

The first instalment of ‘Books Vs Cigarettes: A Sly Look At The World Of Geek Publishing’ is up ‘n live with The Geeks justy here!

(Please note future episodes will not include helicopters, forks, dogs, and other things I can’t draw.)