Kitschies & Krakens 2012

Posted on 03/25/2013 by Sarah

The Kitschies, presented by The Kraken Rum, reward the year’s most progressive, intelligent and entertaining works that contain elements of the speculative or fantastic.

The Kitschies

Well, who wouldn’t want to design a poster for that, right? Especially as it means I get to draw tentacles. Heh. Kraken Rum have just lovely graphics for their tasty tipple. Really nice stuff. But rather than simply copy their illustrations I wanted a tiny monster all of my own.

And – when it’s for the only awards ceremony where you actually win a tentacle – I feel you should clearly make an effort!

More about tentacle-y goings on with The Kitschies right here!

Of Jurassic And Jackets…

Posted on 02/04/2013 by Sarah

Speculative Fiction collects and celebrates the best non-fiction online – the top book reviews, essay and commentary of the year.

Jurassic London

And could you maybe do a cover Sarah?

Well, it’s a wonderful idea for a book, so how could anybody refuse? I love the notion of people writing – authors timelessly scribbling away – but much of that content now heading off onto the interwebs. The written word finding a new home, adapting to work through a relatively new medium but still remaining, in essence, indistinguishable from the past.

Hopefully ‘Project Giant Typewriter’, as it was dubbed, brings some of that feel of across…

Edited by the awesome Justin Landon and Jared Shurin this mighty tome goes on sale February 2013. All the details righty here!

Something Nasty In The Woodshed…

Posted on 12/06/2012 by Sarah

A little unsettling Voodoo down by Waitrose? Dubious occultists are up to no good at number 23 again? The Thelemic Lodge next door just won’t keep the noise down? Yup, urban occult. Who knows what sinister esoteric doings are going on behind the closed doors of suburban Blighty.

I just loved the new anthology idea from Anachron Press. Urban Occult. Irresistible. Trying to write a contribution sounded loads of fun. Satanists. Crazy Wiccans. Those nasty inner-city backwaters that really just aren’t right. And I’ve been lucky enough to have my short story included. Wow. Plus I’m very pleased to have designed the jacket.

A tiny excerpt from my wandering words…

The Strange Case Of Mrs West & The Dead

You’d think the dead had better things to do. But no. They hang about, getting under people’s feet, and in the case of Mr. Moses, retaining a controlling share in several import businesses where they were distinctly unwanted. All concerned generally considered they were making an infernal nuisance of themselves. Several family members, having found the gentleman insufferable in life, felt very hard done by that death had refused to claim him.

Yes, tea please. White. No sugar.

You see people will dabble in stuff. Give them enough money and they can do all sorts of damage. A little demonic deal here, a little cheating death there. Hardly a situation where you have recourse to law, when an unwanted relative acquires a nasty habit of popping back from the other side. So at this point you require some quality help. Who knows what’s been chanted to lure Aunty away from Death’s door? And she might have been a charming old dear in her former life but you’ll find a little death makes her not so ready with the mint humbugs. More likely to poke the nearest knitting needle in your eye. So it’s prudent to watch out for that. These are exactly the sort of issues that amateur occultists don’t tell you about. Cowboys. I’m forever clearing up their nasty mess.

Oh, and when you call I prefer the term ‘Occult Practitioner’. Please don’t use ‘witch’. I’m not entirely convinced they’ve stopped burning them. Best not to give anybody ideas.

But somebody had done an impressive job with Mr Moses. You could clearly see where the money had been spent. Very little wear and tear. Fully mobile. Chattering away rather eloquently. If you didn’t know better – and I do – you would never have thought the old gentleman should have exited this earthly plane over a month ago. He’d been brought back rather promptly. And to a very high standard. No obvious madness. No eating next door’s cats. No previously-absent tentacles. And the erroneous ‘death’ put down to the terrible incompetence of NHS paperwork. Which obviously everybody involved found entirely plausible. The standard excuse.

There were little hints of his condition about him. Slightly blurry at the edges. A disconcerting habit of simply walking through smaller pieces of furniture. The usual problems with reflections and howling dogs. He’d acquired a very slight translucent quality to his demeanour in the brightest of sunlight, and a shadow which plainly wasn’t his own. But on the whole a convincing resurrection. Despite the problem with the red eyes. One of the best I’ve seen. And one which was singularly determined to hang onto his business interests. Much to his daughter’s disgust.

Mrs West, along with fourteen other wonderfully spooky urban tales, should be out in February from Anachron. All edited by the mighty Colin F Barnes. Go take a look!

Day Of Demons

Posted on 04/14/2012 by Sarah

A day in a life with a demon. Any demon. Please write a short story.

To me? An irresistible idea for an anthology as it offered a good excuse for wandering about the internet poking into demonic pacts, hellish secrets and Faustian goings on. Too many great things to try and write about. But how could you get yourself stuck with a demon? Was this necessarily a bad thing? And once you’d signed your life away how exactly would you go about trying to renege on the deal?

Enter Mrs Milton. As I’m pretty sure old ladies know far more than they ever let on… My small contribution the the Anachron Press ‘Day of Demons’ anthology.

A little excerpt…

The Devil and Mrs Milton

Would you like my life? The money. The connections. The trappings of wealth. The comforts of success. Would you take it if I offered? Snatch opportunity from my hands? In one small gesture have this to be yours?

Don’t be under any illusions. Don’t fail to see behind the shining veneer. This all came at a high price. A tithe paid in blood. And you should be very careful with whom you strike a bargain.

Nothing is a safe bet. And there’s sometimes a cost you don’t really want to pay.

I have an appointment this evening. A nefarious friend is intending to call. Balance on a debt that’s unavoidably due. Not anybody you’d like to meet. But stay and talk a while. I have a little time before he arrives.

The business deal. A social engagement. The relationship. The new enterprise. I have the magical gift of turning all to gold. Success always stands by my side. Doors that eternally open. My path invariably takes me towards greater rewards. Whatever journey I embark upon my providence is assured. I never put a foot wrong. Always safely walk between the paving cracks. I have insinuated myself into the most fortuitous relationship with life. Everything unfailingly falls my way. Life appears to love me. A prominent participant in all that is esteemed. But I’ve had a little help you see. An unfair advantage. A sleight of hand. A dirty secret. Something I’ve kept hidden from others in my world. Not that ever I asked for it. Nothing that I wanted. A node of success. Too big. Too close. A life that didn’t appear tangible to any who looked too intently. A legacy of my family for generations. A bargain made in my absence a long time ago.

Perhaps I should be resigned to my fate. A bit of North London Zen? I’ve had many long years to think about this day. Plotting. Planning. Secrets. My fetch has always stood close by. Watching from the sidelines. Expectantly eager in the corners of a room. She’s never been too distant. Always following in the backwash of my days. The street lights that dim as I approach. The hissing cat that will never sit by my side. The distant chime of bells as sleep pulls me down into fragmentary dreams. I discern my guest and his associates have tainted my life. Little reminders to ensure I don’t forget our deal. I fear that I burn a little too brightly in the more ethereal of places. But that was never of my choice. An attraction I never desired. And as the more esoteric of gentleman would point out (and I’m certain they speak truly) when you have no choice but to see them, then of course, they can see you.

I believe my guest is on his way. Twisting just out of perception. Signal to noise against the monochrome streets of a Camden winter’s day. Don’t feel obliged to wait with me. I’m sure anybody would understand should you leave. But company is pleasant. And I have a curious tale to tell.

And should you maybe wish to find out what exactly happens to the erstwhile Mrs Milton, along with eight other storming tales of demonic doings from Anachron Press, it’s all right here!

‘Deal’ by Karen Davies, ‘Inheritance’ by Phil Hickes, ‘Serpent’s Kiss’ by Krista Walsh, ‘Sam & The Spear’ by Gary Bonn. ‘Numen’ by V. Đ. Griesdoorn, ‘City of Light and Stone’ by Laura Diamond, ‘Cost of Glory’ by Edward Drake and ‘A Mother’s Love’ by James M. Mazzaro. All masterfully put together by editor Colin F. Barnes!

Day of Demons is a collection of powerful stories featuring the conflict of demons and humans over the course of a day.

Read how one woman’s inner-self awakens to unexpected and frightening consequences, or how a charismatic half-breed thief is forced to strike a deal with a pen-stealing imp. Read about a mother as she struggles to cope with a deadly, satanic bargain, and a sword-wielding anti-hero as he returns out of exile to face his demonic fate.

Nine stories, nine demons, nine authors. From fantasy, to horror, to contemporary fiction, this anthology will fright, delight and grip you with tales of daring-do, danger and of course — demons.

Anachron Press

Available right now at Amazon UK and Amazon US! Go take a look if you’d like some demonic tales to entertain. And who wouldn’t?

Postcard Post…

Posted on 04/14/2012 by Sarah

A little Books vs Cigarettes postcard my partner in comics crime Danie Ware thought up to take to Eastercon! Where I’m sure no drinking was actually involved…

Pandemonium: Stories Of The Smoke

Posted on 04/07/2012 by Sarah

Charles Dickens. What does mention of that name make me think? Well, Victorian literary heavyweight. Bah Humbug!. Social critic. Genius characterization. London at her most deliciously captivating. London at her grubby, grasping worst. Of being entranced reading a ‘Tale of Two Cities’. And the iconic image of Oliver Reed as Bill Sikes. Oh, and his dog. For some reason Bill Sikes’s dog.

So with those thoughts I sat down to try and write a Dickensian tale for the wonderful ‘Pandemonium: Stories Of The Smoke’ anthology. A bit daunting for me as I’ve never written anything above a little flash fiction before but I love London. Her history has so many fascinating tales to tell. It would be nice to try and make a small contribution to those.

And after having “You’ve got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys…” stuck in my head for several days, spending a lot of enjoyable time reading about the dubious history of London graveyards and a near literary contextual faux pas involving me inadvertently writing about water pumps terrorizing the inhabitants of Soho – top editing save from Anne C. Perry – Mr Bullseye appeared.

A tiny little excerpt…

Bullseye

You can always get what you want. Enough money? The right contacts? Smart enough to read the City’s ebb and flow of dirty little connections? Yes? Then it’s yours.

Bullseye. Whatever you need. Mr Bullseye to you.

And that’s what I do. A very specialist service for a very select clientele. And if you don’t know how to find me, then you probably don’t need to. Though all you have to do is look in the right places. Nasty places though, mind. Places you don’t really want to go. The City knows how to find me. If you let her. She’s a little too shy to reveal her very darkest of secrets, but then she’s a lady. Always has been. Just show her a bit of respect and she’ll soon bring you down to find me, when there’s business to be done.

And I’ve always been a people person. Happy to help.

Walk behind Waterloo Station. The smell of electricity. The solidified grime of a thousand commutes home. Marsh Street. South of the river. A road that’s always been here. And South of the river was always a haven for the City’s basest of desires. Bear baiting. Brothels. Money laundering, Taverns. Visit the circus and get knifed for your gold buttons by some enterprising soul. From these streets seeps the legacy of an unsated need to indulge. Ingrained into the spiritual geography a formal dictum of rapacity. There’s always a price here for anything you’re selling. Always the ways and means to do business. Circumvent the faux respectability of the trader’s luncheon right here on the street.

For tomorrow? Well, that’ll cost you. But when do I not deliver?

And if you’d maybe like to read the rest you’ll be needing one of these tasty little items… ‘Pandemonium: Stories Of The Smoke’

Which gets you 15 more wondrous tales of London Town from Sarah Lotz, Archie Black, Aliette de Bodard, Alexis Kennedy, Esther Saxey, David Thomas Moore, Jonathan Green, Rebecca Levene, Jenni van der Merwe, Glen Mehn, Kaaron Warren, Michelle Goldsmith, James Wallis, Charles Dickens, Lavie Tidhar, David Thomas Moore and Adam Roberts.

Not only that… in true Dickensian style the anthology is beautifully illustrated by Gary Northfield and the whole smokin’ package put together by wonderful editors by Anne C. Perry and Jared Shurin from publishers Jurassic London!

Pandemonium: Stories of the Smoke brings you London as you’ve never seen it before – science fiction and fantasy in the great tradition of Charles Dickens.

Charles Dickens lived and breathed London in a way few authors ever have, before or since. In his fiction, his non-fiction, and even his own life, Dickens cast an extraordinary shadow over the city he so loved – so much so, indeed, that his name has become synonymous with a certain image of London. A London of terrible social inequality and matchless belief in the human potential; a London filled with the comic and the repulsive, the industrious and the feckless, the faithful and the faithless, the selfish and the selfless.

This London is at once an historical artifact and a living, breathing creature: the steaming, heaving, weeping, stinking, everlasting Smoke.

Jurassic London

Available right now at Amazon UK and Amazon US. Hopefully you’ll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing a few of the words.

SFX Or Bust!

Posted on 01/19/2012 by Sarah

Why, yes. That’s right. A little more Books Vs Cigarettes over at Geek Syndicate as everyone gets ready for the SFX Weekender!

Books Vs Cigarettes Webcomic

‘Books vs Cigarettes’ takes a not entirely serious little wander through the world of Genre Lit. It’s the stuff we love but, as with everything, that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t come with a sense of humour!

Wondrous words from Danie Ware. Dubious illustration Sarah Anne Langton. And hosted each month by the lovely folk at Geek Syndicate.

Books vs Cigarettes #1 The Perils Of Paranormal Romance Beware smouldering vampires and frisky werewolf’s… nothing good will come of it…

Books vs Cigarettes #2 Post Paranormal Romance Blues When a little light Sword and Sorcery goes tragically wrong…

Books vs Cigarettes #3 Steampunked The lure of the dirigible and corset goes horribly wrong as somebody starts to investigate the world of Steampunk.

Books vs Cigarettes #4 SFX Or Bust! Be prepared… the SFX Weekender is upon us…

Books Vs Cigarettes Sir?

Posted on 12/20/2011 by Sarah

Might I suggest a stroll over to ‘The Geek Syndicate’, those fine purveyors of quality literature, for some comic book adventures Sir? This week the ladies of ‘Books Vs Cigarettes’ encounter Steampunk during a epic yarn of corsets and goggles that is sure to please.

Have your man locate a copy for you directly.

Yuletide Pandemonium

Posted on 12/18/2011 by Sarah

Want a little Pandemonium in your Christmas stocking? Sure you do. As a seasonal follow-up to the very lovely armageddon anthology ‘Pandemonium: Stories of the Apocylpse’ you can now treat yourself to three darkly comedic tales with this dinky download from Team Pornokitsch.

Three unclassifiable short-short stories from three of our favourite unclassifiable authors. Den Patrick contributes “The Shock of the New”, a stirring tale of an alternate WWI (bonus: Tesla cannons!), Archie Black is a fly on the wall at “Villainy Fair”, a gathering of storybook villainnesses and Oz Vance introduces a deeply mediocre band of adventurers in “The Season”

Plus… uhm…. you get a wobbly drawing of the ‘Jurassic Publishing’ dinosaur, all of your very own, as I got busy with the crayons.

Go nuts and grab yourself a Kindle copy of the ’Pandemonium Stocking Stuffer 2011′ on Amazon UK or Amazon US! Full of awesome from top editor folk Anne C Perry and Jared Shurin.

Sarah Anne Langton

Words & Pixels At Secret Arctic Base

Tag Archives: Genre Fiction